Paragliding

What a silly idea.
We were in Medellin, the capital of paragliding in Colombia, so we thought that we had better go paragliding.

* Problem Number 1: Too much rum the night before paragliding.
* Problem Number 2: Lots of time waiting for conditions to be good.
* Problem Number 3: My pilot has no English. I have little Spanish. Pilot tells me to "sit-down" when he means "run".
* Problem Number 4: During the "sit-down" or "run" confusion, during which I felt like a helpless puppy, my foot discovered a hole in the ground and my ankle went sideways, causing considerable discomfort for the few days to follow.
* Problem Number 5: After completing a very fast hopping routine on the 2nd attempted take-off we become airborne, at which point I discover that I feel rather ill and would like to vomit sooner rather than later.
* Problem Number 6: We are airborne and it is a long way to the landing point. Although I have moments of enjoying the flight, my desire to vomit is becoming quite strong, reminding me very much of riding "The Pirate Ship" at the Adelaide Show when I was younger, so much younger than today.
* Problem Number 7: I use my exceptional abilities with the Spanish language to inform my pilot that I feel like puking and he is likely to cop most of it in the face, so he decides we should head down a bit faster than we had been. The chosen method for accelaration in paragliding is a spiraling manouver during which the passenger is spinning around in a circle 10 metres across at about 150km/hour while plummeting towards the ground below. This causes the body some distress and one gets cramp throughtout the said body. On a positive note it can take your mind off of vomiting, albeit only briefly.
* Problem Number 8: The landing went worse than my first take-off attempt. The pilot asked me to hold my feet in the air, while he supposedly used his feet to help us land. Instead he decided that we should land flat on my fat bum at some ridiculous speed, causing me quite a bit of surprise (in medical terms - shock).
* Problem Number 9: My bum did not enjoy the impact and I have had quite a bit of discomfort sitting on it for the last few days.
* Problem Number 10: My inner thighs have some nasty bruising from the harness.
* Problem Number 11: Our chosen landing spot was indeed a patch of rather nasty prickles, and I now have 50 really, really, really itchy prickle welts, primarily up the back of my legs, along with some grazes on the front of my legs.

There is more but I'm boring myself with my whinging so I'll stop.
P.S. I recommend parachuting, white-water rafting and sitting on wild animals much more than paragliding.